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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,945

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Making waves on Telegram:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Just shared via Pinterest:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Going viral on Slack:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Trending via Slack:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my cat's prepping for a career in "nap-tastic" film productions! 🎬😹💤

cat, cats, entertainment, humor, making, media, pet, sleep, sleeping, social, social media, spend, third, video, videos, viral, viral video

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

1 month ago
closed, early, eyes, good, humor, i, meeting, meetings, missing, morning, procrastination, skill, sleep
Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

1 month ago
ball, ball park, before, context, estimate, give, humor, invention, much, park, pretty, rough, someone, sports
Time is precious, waste it wisely.

1 month ago
choice, humor, irony, life, preciou, time, waste, wisely
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

3 months ago
clothes, hear, i, know, laundry, machine, needs, procrastination, reminder, still, washing, washing machine
Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

1 month ago
adventure, friends, going, guilt, humor, journey, loser, trip
“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

1 month ago
again, comedy, fall, falling, humor, i, irony, procrastination, repetition, sarcasm, say, self-awareness, whatever

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Spotted on Facebook:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Trending via Pinterest:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

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Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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