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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Breaking via Facebook:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Shared recently on X:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Spotted on TikTok:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Spotted on WeChat:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"When Tinder can't deliver, it's time for a GPS malfunction at Starbucks! ☕️🔄😂"

activity, app, apps, cafe, confused, dating, dating app, fun, fun activity, humor, looking, situation, social, social situation, time, walk, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

1 month ago
comedy, commit, crime, crime evidence, detective, DNA, everywhere, evidence, forensic, hair, humor, i, joke, leave, me, never, self-deprecating
In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

1 month ago
airplane, airplane safety, card, credit, credit card, emergency, event, head, humor, inflate, jacket, joke, landing, life, life jacket, over, place, safety, swipe, water, water landing
In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

3 months ago
cheese, comfort, comfort food, difficult, difficult time, food, humor, important, positivity, remember, time, times
When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

1 month ago
eye, humor, moon, night, November, season, time, weather
Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

1 month ago
appearance, beauty, effort, humor, know, looking, much, regular, self-deprecation, vanity
“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

1 month ago
crazy, emotional, emotional struggle, everyone, health, honesty, humor, i, lost, mental, mental health, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecation, struggle, well

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Live now on Snapchat:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Trending via Instagram:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Shared recently on Slack:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

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Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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