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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

I never learned to swim because I didnโ€™t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

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Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

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I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs Iโ€™ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

The evening news: Where they begin with โ€œGood eveningโ€ and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

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Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

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Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

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Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

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The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

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I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good olโ€™ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

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Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Commentary:
Swiping left on dating apps, swiping right on HR policies! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’ผโค๏ธ

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