Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Just shared via Instagram:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Going viral on X:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Shared recently on TikTok:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Swiping left on dating apps, swiping right on HR policies! 😅💼❤️

app, apps, date, dating, dating app, delete, deleting, department, hr, HR department, humor, meet, old fashioned, relationship, someone, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, humor, joke, May, me, money, month, next, wish
People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

0

4 months ago

afraid, behavior, emotion, fear, kind, kindness, people, people pleaser, personality, pleaser, social, social behavior
Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

0

2 months ago

adventure, friends, fun, get in, going, humor, loser, overthinking
I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

0

2 months ago

agree, attention, comment, constant, humor, i, media, need, online, people, retweet, social, social media, stand, validation
My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

0

2 months ago

bet, care, dental, dental hygienist, dentist, dentist visit, grooming, guys, hair, humor, hygienist, i, nose, nose hair, personal, personal care, thinking, visit
He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

0

2 months ago

cockroach, compliment, everything, humor, i, key, low, low key, me, resilience, sarcasm, second, self-reflection, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Discord this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

55 shares on Slack this month:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

88 shares on Slack this month:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Trending via WeChat:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Just shared via Facebook:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Just shared via Telegram:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Breaking via Messenger:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨