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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,771

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Breaking via Reddit:

I love having plans to cancel.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Live now on TikTok:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Shared recently on Twitch:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Just shared via TikTok:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Going viral on Threads:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate long-term relationship goal: professional annoyance specialist 😂❤️

annoy, annoyance, beautiful, beautiful man, ever, flirtation, girl, humor, humor quote, i, life, lifelong, little, love, man, playful, relationship, rest, romance, shit, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

0

2 months ago

activity, exercise, fun, fun activity, guy, humor, i, invention, jogging, music, suffering
I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

0

2 months ago

accident, diet, food, gain, humor, i, mean, snaccident, snack, weight
Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

0

5 months ago

avoidance, dealing, Elsa, feelings, freeze, frozen, humor, i, kingdom, level, respect
I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

0

3 months ago

chronically, chronically online, different, digital, digital life, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, online, sarcasm, social, social media, sophisticated, witty
Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

0

3 months ago

allowed, cicada, feels, frustration, humor, i, just, nature, relaxation, scream, should, sit, tree
My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

0

4 months ago

bad, breakup, ex, girlfriend, humor, i, idiot, idiots, jealousy, life, love, love life, new, new relationship, relationship, sarcasm, smiling, somewhere, telling, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

82 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

91 shares on Discord this month:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Going viral on Telegram:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Trending via Pinterest:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Just landed via Threads:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Just shared via Discord:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Going viral on Pinterest:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Making waves on Telegram:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨