Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.