Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Just shared via Messenger:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Spreading quickly via X:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Breaking via WeChat:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Going viral on Threads:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Going bananas on X:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Breaking via YouTube:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Just landed via Messenger:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Current status: Professional night owl, world-class morning zombie. 🦉☕😴"

bedtime, before, earlier, every, humor, i, morning, night, procrastination, regret, sleep, wake up, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

0

2 months ago

age, growth, humor, life, never, old, older, stupid, too, wisdom
Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

0

2 months ago

always, casual, fashion, favorite, humor, outfit, outfits, relationship, shirt, underwear
Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

0

2 weeks ago

annoyance, before, Christmas, communication, email, ghost, holiday, humor, me, much, need, quit
I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

0

2 months ago

beach, feed, grudge, hold, humor, i, irony, just, love, pet, relationship, sarcasm, take, walks
Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, danger, dangerous, date, gone, humor, joke, relationship, restaurant, toilet, toilets, vanish
Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

0

2 months ago

assistant, device, ever, fail, frustration, humor, just, Siri, smart, smart device, tech, tech fail, technology, voice, voice assistant, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

37 shares on Discord this month:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

42 shares on X this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

37 shares on X this month:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Spotted on Telegram:

How is it still this week?

Seen just now on WeChat:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Seen just now on Discord:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Spotted on TikTok:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Going viral on Reddit:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Just landed via Telegram:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨