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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Just landed via Messenger:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Going viral on Telegram:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Seen just now on Threads:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Going viral on WeChat:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Spotted on Facebook:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Playful quote about long-time friends and mysterious careers, full of humorous confusion.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your friend's job is more mysterious than Area 51 🤔🛸 #ProfessionalEnigma"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

93 shares on X this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Live now on Twitch:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Spotted on Facebook:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Spotted on Discord:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Going viral on Slack:

The shitshow must go on.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Seen just now on Facebook:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Seen just now on X:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

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