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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Going viral on Discord:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Just shared via YouTube:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Trending via Threads:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Just landed via LinkedIn:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Just landed via Instagram:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Funny affect quotes

Funny affect quotes bring a smile 😄 and a twist of wit to the way we see emotions and reactions! Whether you’re feeling dramatic 🎭 or just need a laugh 😂, these clever sayings turn everyday feelings into hilarious moments. Ready to brighten your day with some smart and silly vibes? Let’s dive into the world where feelings get a funny makeover! 🎉✨

New funny affect quotes 👇

All funny affect quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on YouTube this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Going viral on Discord:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Spotted on Facebook:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Just shared via Messenger:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Shared recently on X:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Going bananas on Threads:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Just landed via Slack:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

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