Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Going viral on Instagram:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Going viral on Threads:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Trending via X:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Trending via WeChat:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

21 Funny application quotes

More funny application quotes 👇

For even more funny application quotes, hit next 👇

All funny application quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Just landed via X:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Making waves on Threads:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Seen just now on Instagram:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Just shared via Telegram:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴