Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Seen just now on Slack:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Going viral on X:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Making waves on Discord:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Breaking via WeChat:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Live now on Discord:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Live now on WeChat:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Funny bakery quotes

Funny bakery quotes bring a sprinkle of laughter 🍰 and a dash of sweetness 🧁 to your day! Whether you’re a doughnut lover 🍩 or a cupcake fanatic 🧁, these witty sayings will rise to the occasion and make you smile brighter than a fresh batch out of the oven. Ready to get your daily dose of yum and giggles? Let’s bake some joy together! 🎉🥐

New funny bakery quotes 👇

All funny bakery quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

41 shares on Discord this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

57 shares on X this month:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

75 shares on Discord this month:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Trending via Discord:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Spotted on Telegram:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Seen just now on Threads:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Live now on X:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Trending via Slack:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

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