Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day philosopher's dilemma: Why did they break up? 🤔 Let's hope Google can solve this mystery faster than they figured out how to roll out self-driving cars 🚗🔍 #RelationshipGoneGoogle"
61 Funny breakup quotes
No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.
Commentary:
Just a strategic rebranding, darling! 💁♂️ From significant other to expert ex, I'm elevating my status in your life. 😜 Who knew breakups could be so fashionable? 💔 #ChicExGoals
Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.
Commentary:
"Ex's be like 'I gave you everything'. Yeah, trust issues. 🙄 Sounds like they're giving everything except honesty and loyalty! 😂 #EpicFail"
I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'plot twist' moment in a romantic comedy… or is it a horror movie?! 👀🎬 Here's to finding 'the one' who doesn't ghost you faster than a magician makes a rabbit disappear! 🎩🐇✨"
Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!
Commentary:
"Dear sleep, I'm sorry I left you for the snooze button this morning. Can we rekindle our relationship? 💔😴 #SleepIsBae"
I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.
Commentary:
Oh, the classic tale of unrequited love between a person and a gym – the treadmill of heartbreak 💔. Sometimes, no matter how many reps you do, the gym still wants some space. Time to find a new workout partner, maybe yoga or pilates will be a better match! 🧘♂️💪 #GymBreakup #SweatingItOut
I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.
Commentary:
Time to Thanos-snap those follows into thin air! ✨🚶♂️💨
Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.
Commentary:
Turning into a Batman family reunion every time you show up! 🦇😂
My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.
Commentary:
Sounds like they're both in a romantic comedy, but forgot they were cast as the extras. 😂🎬🤦♀️
The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.
Commentary:
When you find yourself reminding him to take his vitamins, it’s time to initiate the infinite timeout. 😆👶🔔