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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Making waves on TikTok:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Trending via Instagram:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Just landed via Slack:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Breaking via WeChat:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Funny brighter quotes

Funny brighter quotes light up your day with a splash of humor and sunshine ☀️😂! Perfect for turning gloomy moments into bursts of laughter, these witty gems brighten moods and spark joy 🌈✨. Ready to add some sparkle and smiles to your feed? Get set for a collection that’s as uplifting as it is hilarious! 😄💡

New funny brighter quotes 👇

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, boat, brighter, day, drop, humor, just, much, people, side, sunglasses

Someone from 🇨🇿 has recently copied this quote.

100 shares on Slack this month.
In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

0

2 months ago

brighter, eclipse, honor, humor, i, last, light-hearted, me, self-deprecation, someone, wit

Someone from 🇨🇬 has recently copied this quote.

102 shares on Snapchat this month.

All funny brighter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Instagram this month:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

63 shares on Threads this month:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

25 shares on X this month:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Making waves on TikTok:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Making waves on Telegram:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Live now on Messenger:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Trending via Pinterest:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Making waves on TikTok:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

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