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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,977

Funny Quotes Topics

14,782

Funny Quotes Images

11,977

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Trending via Pinterest:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Live now on Snapchat:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Live now on Threads:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Seen just now on Threads:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Trending via Messenger:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,977

Funny Quotes Topics

14,782

Funny Quotes Images

11,977

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Making waves on X:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Going viral on YouTube:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Making waves on Facebook:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

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