Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Trending via Twitch:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Just landed via Snapchat:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Going viral on Discord:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Spotted on Messenger:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Making waves on Telegram:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Going viral on Instagram:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Funny bumble quotes

Funny bumble quotes 🐝 are the perfect way to buzz through the awkward, hilarious, and sometimes downright weird world of dating apps! Whether you’re swiping right or left, these witty one-liners will have you laughing out loud 😂 and maybe even feeling a little less alone in the chaos of modern romance. Get ready to double-tap those moments that make online dating a wild adventure! 💬❤️

New funny bumble quotes 👇

All funny bumble quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

76 shares on Threads this month:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

38 shares on Telegram this month:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Seen just now on X:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Making waves on Messenger:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Spotted on WeChat:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Spotted on X:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

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