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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

401 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,670

Funny Quotes Topics

17,703

Funny Quotes Images

15,670

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Going viral on Telegram:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Live now on Reddit:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Just landed via Slack:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Breaking via WeChat:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Funny bumble quotes

Funny bumble quotes 🐝 are the perfect way to buzz through the awkward, hilarious, and sometimes downright weird world of dating apps! Whether you’re swiping right or left, these witty one-liners will have you laughing out loud 😂 and maybe even feeling a little less alone in the chaos of modern romance. Get ready to double-tap those moments that make online dating a wild adventure! 💬❤️

New funny bumble quotes 👇

All funny bumble quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

46 shares on Slack this month:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

94 shares on Threads this month:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

401 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,670

Funny Quotes Topics

17,703

Funny Quotes Images

15,670

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Just landed via Messenger:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Shared recently on Discord:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Just landed via Twitch:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

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