Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Trending via Facebook:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Seen just now on Threads:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Just landed via X:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Going viral on WeChat:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Going viral on Instagram:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Seen just now on X:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Making waves on Snapchat:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Funny cassette quotes

Funny cassette quotes bring a nostalgic smile 🎶✨, reminding us of the good old days when rewinding was an art and mixtapes were love letters 💾❤️. Whether you grew up tangled in tape or just love vintage vibes, these quirky sayings will have you laughing out loud 🤣📼. Ready to rewind time with humor and charm? Let’s press play on some seriously funny cassette vibes! 🎧😂

New funny cassette quotes 👇

All funny cassette quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Twitch this month:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

57 shares on Discord this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

95 shares on X this month:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Trending via Telegram:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Just landed via Facebook:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Breaking via Twitch:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Making waves on Slack:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Broadcasted on X:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Seen just now on Instagram:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Going viral on Reddit:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

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