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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

11 seconds ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Just shared via Reddit:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Making waves on X:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Home » Funny Compare Quotes

Funny compare quotes

Funny compare quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday situations, turning simple comparisons into laugh-out-loud moments 😂✨ Whether you’re sizing up snacks or quirky habits, these witty lines add sparkle to your day 🌟🤣 Get ready to giggle as you discover the funniest ways to see the world through a playful lens! 🎉😜

New funny compare quotes 👇

For even more funny compare quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny compare quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

11 seconds ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Live now on WhatsApp:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Making waves on Twitch:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Going viral on Slack:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Just landed via TikTok:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Just landed via TikTok:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

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