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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Just landed via YouTube:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Just landed via Discord:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Spotted on Threads:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Funny compare quotes

Funny compare quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday situations, turning simple comparisons into laugh-out-loud moments 😂✨ Whether you’re sizing up snacks or quirky habits, these witty lines add sparkle to your day 🌟🤣 Get ready to giggle as you discover the funniest ways to see the world through a playful lens! 🎉😜

New funny compare quotes 👇

All funny compare quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Running from your problems is cardio.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

69 shares on Telegram this month:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Going viral on Reddit:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Just shared via TikTok:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Seen just now on X:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Going viral on YouTube:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Spotted on Messenger:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Just shared via TikTok:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Just shared via Reddit:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

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