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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

56 seconds ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Going viral on Messenger:

Oh good. Another day.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Just shared via Reddit:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Seen just now on Threads:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Spotted on X:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Seen just now on Threads:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Home » Funny Custody Quotes

Funny custody quotes

New funny custody quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Commentary:
"Mrs. Doubtfire: the OG stealthy custody hacker! 🤫🎬 Who needs lawyers when you have a wig and a Scottish accent, am I right? 😉 #CustodyGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Commentary:
Ah, elections – the ultimate family drama on a national scale! 🤣 It's like we're all caught in the crossfire of a messy breakup, anxiously waiting to see who ends up with custody of our future. 🗳️💔 Let's just hope they don't make us choose between weekends and holidays! #ElectionDrama #CustodyBattle

For even more funny custody quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny custody quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

56 seconds ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Trending via Discord:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Trending via Slack:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Live now on Slack:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Seen just now on Slack:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Spotted on YouTube:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

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