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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Just shared via YouTube:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Breaking via WeChat:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Live now on Facebook:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Going bananas on X:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Just landed via Slack:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Funny dismayed quotes

Funny dismayed quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when life just doesn’t go your way 😅💥 Whether you’re facepalming at a silly mistake or reacting to unexpected chaos, these witty lines turn frustration into laughter 😂🙃 Perfect for sharing when you need a little comic relief from the everyday oops! Ready to giggle through the gloom? Let’s dive into some amusingly dismayed vibes! 🎉🤣

New funny dismayed quotes 👇

All funny dismayed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Messenger this month:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

75 shares on X this month:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Seen just now on X:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Trending via X:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Making waves on Instagram:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Just landed via X:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

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