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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,842

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Making waves on WeChat:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Just shared via X:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Just landed via Pinterest:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

82 Funny free quotes

More funny free quotes 👇

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

0

5 months ago

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I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

0

5 months ago

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All funny free quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Trending via Discord:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Trending via TikTok:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Just shared via Facebook:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Going viral on Threads:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

82 Funny free quotes

More funny free quotes 👇

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

All funny free quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨