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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Making waves on WeChat:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Just landed via Twitch:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Funny French Revolution quotes

New funny French Revolution quotes 👇

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

3 months ago

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All funny French Revolution quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Just shared via X:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Making waves on Telegram:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Just landed via Twitch:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Going viral on WeChat:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Making waves on Snapchat:

January is the Monday of the year.

Making waves on Reddit:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Breaking via Threads:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny French Revolution quotes

New funny French Revolution quotes 👇

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

All funny French Revolution quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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