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3 weeks ago
Share →: Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Commentary:
"Mind blown! Next you'll tell me you can actually sleep in your bed and not just check if it's still there. 😲✈️🤣"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Instagram:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Going viral on Telegram:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Spotted on Slack:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Spotted on WeChat:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Making waves on X:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Making waves on Twitch:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

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Funny funny realization quotes

New funny funny realization quotes 👇

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

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