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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Going viral on Instagram:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Going viral on X:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Just landed via X:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Just landed via Discord:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Spotted on TikTok:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Freshly posted on Threads:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Funny goldfish quotes

Funny goldfish quotes 🐠 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your day! Whether you’re a proud fish parent or just love a good laugh, these witty sayings will have you giggling like a goldfish chasing bubbles 💦. Dive in and discover the quirky charm of our finned friends, guaranteed to make waves in your feed! 🌊😂

New funny goldfish quotes 👇

All funny goldfish quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

30 shares on YouTube this month:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

26 shares on Telegram this month:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Just landed via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Live now on Instagram:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Shared recently on Threads:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Making waves on Telegram:

I would like even faster food.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

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