Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Spotted on Twitch:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Breaking via Telegram:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Making waves on Messenger:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Spotted on Facebook:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Trending via Twitch:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Funny hair salon quotes

Funny hair salon quotes 💇‍♀️😂 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your beauty routine! Whether you’re dodging bad hair days or celebrating fresh cuts ✂️✨, these witty sayings bring laughs and good vibes to every salon visit. Ready to snip, style, and smile? Let’s dive into some hair-raising humor that’ll leave you giggling all the way to the chair! 🎉💁‍♂️

New funny hair salon quotes 👇

All funny hair salon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Discord this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

33 shares on Discord this month:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

90 shares on X this month:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Live now on Reddit:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Making waves on YouTube:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Live now on Telegram:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴