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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Live now on Discord:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Making waves on YouTube:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Seen just now on Slack:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Shared recently on Discord:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Trending via Threads:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Making waves on X:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Funny hand towel quotes

New funny hand towel quotes 👇

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

0

4 months ago

cooking, cooking fail, drank, everything, fail, garbage, hand, hand towel, humor, i, kitchen, literally, over, right, shoulder, towel, understand, while, why, wine

All funny hand towel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Telegram this month:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

53 shares on Threads this month:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

36 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

66 shares on Discord this month:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

56 shares on Slack this month:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Happiness is an inside job.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Spotted on Facebook:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Just shared via Instagram:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Making waves on Threads:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Live now on Slack:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Spotted on X:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Going viral on Telegram:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny hand towel quotes

New funny hand towel quotes 👇

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

All funny hand towel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨