Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Going viral on X:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Live now on Facebook:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Just landed via WeChat:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Going bananas on X:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Funny heavy metal quotes

Funny heavy metal quotes 🤘🎸 bring the perfect mix of headbanging humor and rockstar attitude! Whether you’re a die-hard metal fan or just here for the laughs, these witty lines will have you moshing with a smile 😄🔥. Get ready to unleash your inner metalhead while cracking up—because who says heavy metal can’t be hilarious? 🤟😂

New funny heavy metal quotes 👇

All funny heavy metal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

76 shares on Threads this month:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Making waves on Threads:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Just shared via Twitch:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Trending via TikTok:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Just landed via Instagram:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Trending via X:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

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