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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Making waves on Slack:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Trending via Slack:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Breaking via Instagram:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Live now on Discord:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Funny hike quotes

Funny hike quotes are the perfect trail buddies to keep your spirits high and your laughs loud on every adventure 🥾😂 Whether you’re climbing steep peaks or wandering forest paths, a little humor makes the journey even better 🌲🤣 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as these witty sayings capture all the wild, muddy, and totally unexpected moments of hitting the great outdoors 🌄😜

New funny hike quotes 👇

All funny hike quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

65 shares on Threads this month:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,753

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Spotted on Discord:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Shared recently on Slack:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Making waves on X:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

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