Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WeChat:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Going viral on Messenger:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Just landed via WeChat:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Seen just now on TikTok:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Just landed via Telegram:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Going viral on Messenger:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Home » Funny Holiday Tradition Quotes

Funny holiday tradition quotes

New funny holiday tradition quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Commentary:
Oh, this person has clearly mastered the art of awkward encounters! 🙈 It's like a real-life sitcom episode playing out at random restaurants. 😂 Next level humor mixed with a sprinkle of discomfort, served with a side of expert timing! 🍽️🤣

For even more funny holiday tradition quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny holiday tradition quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Just shared via Threads:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Just landed via Slack:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Just landed via TikTok:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Going viral on Threads:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Just shared via TikTok:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny holiday tradition quotes

New funny holiday tradition quotes 👇

For even more funny holiday tradition quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny holiday tradition quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏