Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Spotted on Reddit:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Breaking via Discord:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Shared recently on Discord:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Trending via Slack:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Shared recently on Threads:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Breaking via Telegram:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Just landed via Facebook:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Just shared via Pinterest:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Funny hopeless quotes

Funny hopeless quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when life feels a little… well, hopeless 🙃. They turn frustration into laughter 😂 and remind us that sometimes, the best way to cope is with a good chuckle 🤪. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day, these witty gems prove that even in the toughest times, humor is the ultimate superpower 💥✨!

New funny hopeless quotes 👇

All funny hopeless quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Instagram this month:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

34 shares on X this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

26 shares on Slack this month:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Trending via Instagram:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Spotted on Reddit:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Spotted on Slack:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Going viral on Facebook:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Making waves on TikTok:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

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