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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Spotted on YouTube:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Trending via Pinterest:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Going viral on Twitch:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Making waves on Instagram:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.

Trending via Twitch:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Funny hydrate quotes

Funny hydrate quotes 💧😂 are the perfect way to remind you to drink up without feeling like a lecture! Whether you’re team water bottle or smoothie lover, these witty sayings will keep your hydration game strong and your spirits higher. Stay refreshed, laugh a little, and never underestimate the power of a good sip — because hydration doesn’t have to be boring! 🥤✨ #StayThirsty #HydrateAndLaugh

New funny hydrate quotes 👇

All funny hydrate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

34 shares on X this month:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Shared recently on Reddit:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Trending via Telegram:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

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