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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Reported on TikTok:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Just shared via Instagram:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Reported on Slack:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Trending via Threads:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

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Funny insulting quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Trending via Facebook:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Making waves on Telegram:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Going viral on Threads:

Tested positive for being single af

Just shared via Pinterest:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Seen just now on Slack:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Spotted on YouTube:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

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