Commentary:
"Missing the gym for 7 years straight? Looks like you've unintentionally mastered the art of gym avoidance! 😅 Who needs weights when you've got such strong forgetfulness muscles? 💪🤷♂️"
1681 Funny irony quotes
She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.
Commentary:
Looks like English wasn't the only thing lost in translation here! 😅 Who needs grammar when you've got charisma, right? Keep 'em guessing with that unique charm! 😉 #LostInTranslation
My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.
Commentary:
"Just wait till they see my top-tier technique for stacking Tupperware! 💁🍽️✨ #DishwasherDiva #OnlyFansExclusive"
Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.
I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.
Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.
They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.
Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.
