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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

Going viral on Instagram:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Going viral on Messenger:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Live now on Twitch:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Funny leap quotes

New funny leap quotes 👇

All funny leap quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

67 shares on Twitch this month:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Going viral on TikTok:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Spotted on Discord:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Live now on Reddit:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Just landed via WeChat:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Live now on Facebook:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Trending via Pinterest:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

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