Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,580

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Live now on YouTube:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Trending via Discord:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Live now on Slack:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Just landed via YouTube:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Spotted on Facebook:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Freshly posted on X:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Going viral on Threads:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Funny merry quotes

Funny merry quotes bring a burst of holiday cheer 🎄😄, turning festive moments into laugh-out-loud memories! Whether you’re decking the halls or wrapping gifts, these witty sayings add sparkle ✨ and giggles 🤣 to any celebration. Perfect for sharing with friends, family, or your holiday squad, they’ll keep the merry vibes flowing all season long. Ready to spread some joyful LOLs? Let the fun begin! 🎅🎉

New funny merry quotes 👇

All funny merry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Reddit this month:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,236

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Live now on YouTube:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Trending via Instagram:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Trending via WhatsApp:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Freshly posted on X:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴