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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

34 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Just landed via Messenger:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Spotted on Telegram:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Going viral on Slack:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Making waves on Telegram:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Home » Funny Micro Quotes

Funny micro quotes

New funny micro quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: a calcified pineal gland or plastic-infused balls? 🚰💦 It's a tough choice between becoming a human water filter or a living stress ball! 😂 Which one will you pick for your daily dose of existential crisis?"
6 months ago
Share →: Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Commentary:
Who knew being lazy can also be framed as a commitment to ecological diversity? 🌿🌀 Next up, let's start a petition to preserve the couch cushion ecosystem – it's a delicate balance of comfort and crumbs! 🛋️🍪

For even more funny micro quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny micro quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

34 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Broadcasted on X:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Breaking via Reddit:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Shared recently on X:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Trending via YouTube:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Live now on Twitch:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Just shared via Reddit:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Making waves on Reddit:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Drive like no one is watching.

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