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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1879 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,041

Funny Quotes Topics

14,826

Funny Quotes Images

12,041

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Spotted on Facebook:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Making waves on Messenger:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Just landed via Discord:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Breaking via Messenger:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Just shared via Threads:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Just shared via Instagram:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1879 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,041

Funny Quotes Topics

14,826

Funny Quotes Images

12,041

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Just shared via X:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Live now on Snapchat:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Going viral on Slack:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Making waves on WeChat:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Just landed via Slack:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

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