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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Making waves on YouTube:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Seen just now on Messenger:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Funny mid-life quotes

Funny mid-life quotes bring laughter to those navigating the wild ride of turning 40, 50, or beyond 🎉😂. Embracing gray hairs, unexpected wrinkles, and the joys of “back in my day” stories has never been this entertaining 😜🕺. Whether you’re mid-life yourself or just love a good chuckle, these witty gems add humor to aging with style and sass 💁‍♀️🎈. Ready to laugh your way through the prime of life? Let’s dive in!

New funny mid-life quotes 👇

All funny mid-life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,739

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Making waves on Slack:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Trending via Messenger:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Making waves on Facebook:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

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