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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Live now on Pinterest:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Seen just now on Discord:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Going viral on Telegram:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Just landed via Threads:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Making waves on Facebook:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Making waves on Instagram:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Funny milestones quotes

Funny milestones quotes bring a burst of laughter 🎉 to every achievement, turning big moments into unforgettable memories 😂. Whether you’re celebrating birthdays, work wins, or quirky life events, these witty lines add sparkle ✨ and smiles 😄 to your special day. Ready to toast with humor and heart? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to mark those unforgettable milestones! 🎈🎊

New funny milestones quotes 👇

All funny milestones quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

98 shares on X this month:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

44 shares on Instagram this month:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Just landed via Threads:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Trending via WeChat:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Just landed via Messenger:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Freshly posted on Threads:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

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