Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Making waves on Facebook:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Shared recently on Slack:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Trending via Discord:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Shared recently on Slack:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Breaking via YouTube:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Funny need me quotes

New funny need me quotes 👇

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

3 weeks ago

always, away, call, communication, distance, ever, friendship, humor, just, me, need, need me, phone, phone call, remember, reminder, text, texts, unread, unread text

All funny need me quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Instagram this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

62 shares on Discord this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

84 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

62 shares on Slack this month:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Live now on Facebook:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Spotted on TikTok:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny need me quotes

New funny need me quotes 👇

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

All funny need me quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨