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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Making waves on Messenger:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Trending via WeChat:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Trending via Reddit:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Trending via Slack:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Home » Funny Need Me Quotes

Funny need me quotes

New funny need me quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day 'I'm here for you, but also conveniently ghosting you' reassurance! 😆📱 Don't worry, I'm just a few unanswered calls away from reaching out…eventually! ⏳💬"

For even more funny need me quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny need me quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Seen just now on Slack:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Just shared via Slack:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Reported on Instagram:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Trending via Twitch:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Spotted on Threads:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

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