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Funny nice list quotes

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

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Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.” - 52 shares on X this week.
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep. - 72 shares on X this week.
Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much. - 45 shares on Threads this week.
Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’. - 52 shares on TikTok this week.
Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining. - 67 shares on Snapchat this week.

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8,001 funny quotes and pics

11,376 funny quotes topics

Updated: Feb 13, 2025

Trending Funny Quotes 🔥

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs. - 4 folks are currently viewing this quote.
I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not. - 8 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’. - 8 folks are currently viewing this quote.
I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat. - 5 folks are currently viewing this quote.
The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown. - 2 folks are currently viewing this quote.

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