Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Just shared via TikTok:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Just shared via Instagram:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Just landed via YouTube:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Funny night vision quotes

Funny night vision quotes are perfect for those moments when darkness turns into hilarious adventures 🌙😂 Whether you’re sneaking around like a spy 🕵️‍♂️ or just trying not to trip over your own feet, these witty lines bring the glow to any shadowy situation 💡😎 Ready to see the lighter side of night vision? Let the laughter shine bright in the dark! 🌌✨

New funny night vision quotes 👇

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

0

2 months ago

easily, fridge, goggles, humor, i, kitchen, night, night vision, relationship, sleep, vision, waking, wife
I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

0

2 months ago

driving, else, headlights, humor, i, important, irony, led, LED headlights, me, night, night vision, nobody, poor, safety, visibility, vision

All funny night vision quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

67 shares on Threads this month:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

33 shares on Slack this month:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Live now on Threads:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Making waves on Instagram:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Just landed via Discord:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Trending via Twitch:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Making waves on Twitch:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

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