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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Shared recently on Discord:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Going viral on X:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Spotted on WeChat:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Spotted on WeChat:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Funny omelette quotes

Funny omelette quotes bring humor to the breakfast table with clever takes on this eggy classic. 🍳😂 From playful jabs at flipping mishaps to witty remarks about egg preferences, these quotes serve up a light-hearted look at the art of making an omelette. Get ready to crack a smile with these breakfast-inspired laughs! 🍳😂

New funny omelette quotes 👇

All funny omelette quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Going bananas on Twitch:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Breaking via Telegram:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Spotted on Twitch:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Live now on Threads:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

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