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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Going viral on Telegram:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Live now on Threads:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Just shared via Messenger:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Just shared via Pinterest:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Funny optimistic quotes

Funny optimistic quotes bring a burst of sunshine ☀️ and laughter 😂 to even the gloomiest days. They remind us to look on the bright side 🌈 while giggling at life’s quirks 🤪. Perfect for boosting your mood and sharing smiles 😄, these witty words turn challenges into chuckles and keep the good vibes rolling 🎉. Ready to laugh your way to positivity? Let’s dive in!

New funny optimistic quotes 👇

All funny optimistic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Instagram this month:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

24 shares on X this month:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

64 shares on Slack this month:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Going viral on Pinterest:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Just shared via Facebook:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Just landed via TikTok:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

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