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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Making waves on Twitch:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Just shared via Discord:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Reported on YouTube:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Making waves on Messenger:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Freshly posted on X:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Just shared via Twitch:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Going viral on Twitch:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Reported on YouTube:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Just landed via Reddit:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Making waves on Snapchat:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Going viral on Facebook:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Freshly posted on Discord:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Trending via Instagram:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

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