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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Going viral on Facebook:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Spotted on Reddit:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Reported on Twitch:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Just shared via Snapchat:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Trending via Facebook:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

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Funny peanut allergy quotes

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New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Going viral on TikTok:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Just shared via Snapchat:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

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