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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Making waves on Instagram:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Seen just now on Slack:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Making waves on Instagram:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Spotted on TikTok:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Funny personal reasons quotes

Funny personal reasons quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and unexpected twists to everyday excuses! Whether you’re dodging plans or explaining quirky choices, these witty lines add charm and humor 😜 to your stories. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day, they remind us that sometimes the best reasons are the funniest ones! Ready to giggle and get inspired? Let’s dive into the world of hilarious personal reasons! 🎉🤣

New funny personal reasons quotes 👇

All funny personal reasons quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

95 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Just landed via YouTube:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Just landed via TikTok:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Live now on Reddit:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Seen just now on X:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

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