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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Just landed via Reddit:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Seen just now on Facebook:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Making waves on Instagram:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Live now on Facebook:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Trending via X:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

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All funny puzzle-solving quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

55 shares on Discord this month:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Going viral on Telegram:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Just landed via Telegram:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Going viral on YouTube:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

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