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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Spotted on Facebook:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Going viral on Messenger:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Live now on Telegram:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Just shared via Telegram:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Reported on TikTok:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Shared recently on Threads:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Just shared via Twitch:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Live now on Snapchat:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Freshly posted on X:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Spotted on Messenger:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

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