Funny quick draw quotes

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.