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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,877

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Trending via Threads:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Shared recently on Discord:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Live now on TikTok:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Breaking via X:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Going viral on TikTok:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Going viral on Telegram:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Just shared via Facebook:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Funny quick draw quotes

New funny quick draw quotes 👇

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bathroom mirror, draw, every, finger, finger gun, gun, guns, humor, just, know, mirror, morning, never, practice, quick, quick draw, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation

All funny quick draw quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

16 shares on X this month:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

81 shares on Discord this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

100 shares on Facebook this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Just shared via X:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Shared recently on TikTok:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny quick draw quotes

New funny quick draw quotes 👇

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

All funny quick draw quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨