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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2248 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,410

Funny Quotes Topics

15,117

Funny Quotes Images

12,410

Updated

33 seconds ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Just shared via Threads:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Making waves on WeChat:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Just landed via TikTok:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2248 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,410

Funny Quotes Topics

15,117

Funny Quotes Images

12,410

Updated

33 seconds ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Just shared via Slack:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Spotted on TikTok:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Making waves on Slack:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Making waves on Messenger:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Going viral on Telegram:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

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