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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Making waves on X:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Shared recently on Reddit:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Just shared via Slack:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Trending via Threads:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Live now on Reddit:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Breaking via Threads:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

42 shares on WeChat this month:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Live now on Snapchat:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Just shared via Discord:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Making waves on Discord:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Shared recently on Threads:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Going bananas on Threads:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Trending via Threads:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

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