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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Just landed via Telegram:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Shared recently on Slack:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Just landed via YouTube:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Seen just now on Threads:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Seen just now on Threads:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Shared recently on Discord:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Breaking via Threads:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Trending via Reddit:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Broadcasted on Threads:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

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